Bright Girls

Psychology Today is one of the few magazines I will read cover to cover. Their website is a total guilty pleasure - so much material, sorted by date, topic, author, whatever. I stumbled upon a gender-related article on there last year that really spoke to me: The Trouble with Bright Girls.

The author, Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson, starts out by stating, "smart and talented women rarely realize that one of the toughest hurdles they'll have to overcome to be successful lies within."  My initial reaction was, she's absolutely right.  And I could think of many bright women in my circles to whom this applied. I didn't think it applied to me until I read on.

"Bright girls believe that their abilities are innate and unchangeable, while bright boys believe that they can develop ability through effort and practice."

The author cited some research which showed that not just girls, but smart girls, tend to give up on challenging projects or goals more often than their male counterparts.  The boys actually worked harder on projects they found challenging, resulting in more success.  So what's our problem? It starts as soon as we are born, and continues into our formative years, when girls are more likely to be coddled than boys. (This is a whole discussion in itself.) How many times were we told "good girl" for our good behavior? How much do you think we internalized that? I must be naturally "good" at this, or conversely, NOT "good" at this. Well, I could come up with a laundry list of things I gave up on, or worse, didn't even start just because they didn't come easily - easily meaning, pretty much placed in my lap.

I gave up on my childhood dream of being an architect because I got a B in Trigonometry (the horror!). I gave up running track freshman year of high school because I got sick the first week and couldn't finish a full practice. Like I wasn't going to get better?  Seriously, what goes through my head? God forbid I get challenged every now and then! If these are just some things that I gave up on, think of the potential being wasted as the rest of us sit inside our comfort zones doing the exact same thing.

What are some things that you have given up, just because they didn't come easily to you? What are you afraid to start because of the challenge?